With such a title, this could very easily become a hugely long essay.

Miss (or Mrs – I have no idea) McKeith is fond of frequently proclaiming that ‘you are what you eat’. Yes, Gillian, this would explain why you are so impenetrably dull and boring, just like your recipes.

Talk to people don’t preach at them

Oh Gillian, why can’t you ever just advise people on how to eat, or leave things open to discussion, give them some options? Instead of this, you dictate and preach, all with that horrible smug attitude. It drives me nuts!

More than 2 million copies in print

Yes, there are more than 2 million copies of ‘You are what you eat’ in print. I wonder how many people actually ever refer to it though. I have a copy that I bought in a second hand shop, because it was cheap and I was curious. I have looked through it twice, and apart from that it just takes up space on the shelf.

Gillians success gallery

Yes, it’s true, Jaqueline does look much better in the after photo than the before photo. This is only partly due to the fact that she has lost some weight though, and hugely aided by the facts that she has a better background, is wearing a better bikini, is standing with better posture, has a better haircut, and is smiling. If we are going to have before and after shots, maybe we could keep at least one variable the same?

The questionable doctorate

If you want to obtain a PHD via a correspondence course from an US University that is not recognised or accredited by anything, then don’t later feel that it gives you the right to use the title ‘Dr’ as a symbol of your authority and presume that you can lecture the rest of the world as if you were the world’s greatest authority on the subject. The Advertising Standards Authority also agree with this point of view, which is why everything that is now published cites the author as ‘Gillian McKeith’ without the Dr prefix.

The bizzare “scientific facts”

Gillian tells us repeatedly that chlorophyll is a fantastic thing, that it is “high in oxygen” and will “oxygenate your blood”. Unfortunately, it’s really quite dark inside the human body, and chlorophyll only produces oxygen in the presence of sunlight. She also states that DNA is only present in growing cells, I’m no biologist, but even I know that this is utter rubbish.

I’m going to stop now, before I descend even further into a long rant, because it’s not only that I don’t agree with many or her food principles, think she is rude and arrogant, and am not impressed by anything in her food books. No, apart from all of that, there is the simple and overriding fact that she just irritates the hell out of me.

I fear that this may be only the first in a regular series of anti-GM articles.